Rowing Upstream Against the Current of Anger

Anger is a not-so-funny thing. It abides unseen in people’s hearts and flows as an undercurrent in the affairs of men. Unchecked, it sullies our communities and affects our businesses. We may warily respect the ravages of COVID-19, but anger is much more corrosive and antithetical to our way of life than any virus. Is there anything we, as a Chamber and as business owners, can do about it?

“Commerce is the natural enemy of all violent passions. Itloves moderation, delights in compromise, and is most careful to avoid anger.”I found this in a 1978 book by Deutsch& Soffer, entitled The Crisis of Liberal Democracy: A StraussianPerspective. The authors espouse Tocqueville’s theory that commerceelevates, frees, and engenders the success of all men. It induces a love offreedom and rejects the tendency toward revolution.

If we believe that, then we are the most invested inpreserving our way of life, our businesses. And as it turns out, there’s a lotwe can do to help the situation.

Where does it come from? The National Forum Journal of Counseling and Addiction suggests that anger originates from past experiences, learned behaviors, genetic predisposition and poor problem solving abilities. It bubbles to the surface when a person reasons emotionally, experiences low frustration levels, or has unreasonable expectations. None of these are deficits we may be able to correct in the moment, but they are all issues we can help prevent. Patience is required. There are no immediate fixes.

What can we do about it? We welcome folks into ourbusinesses. We meet people, shake hands, exchange smiles. Friendly, welcomingbusinesses offer an excellent platform in which to initiate change. We modelbehavior for our community, and in the process, we create a healthy place foreveryone, including our own businesses.

When confronted with unreasonable anger, don’t start off trying to be reasonable. Anger doesn’t reason or respond cognitively. Linda Larsen, C.S.P. suggests these tips:

• Listen without expression or criticism.
• Reflect what you hear. For example, “You feelangry because…”
• Change the pace. Simple comments like, “I wantto talk to you about this. Hang on a sec, let’s find a place to sit and talk,”arrests the growing anger and changes the focus of the conversation.
• Empathize. “I can why see you feel…”
• Try to encourage rational thinking. “First, youbelieve…, second…” Numbering is a left-brain function. It shifts from emotionto reason.
• Explore possible solutions.

Businesses thrive in wholesome, healthy situations. Betweenviruses and anger, we haven’t seen a lot of that lately, but there are simplethings we can do to make a positive contribution. Think of the simple thingsyou do every day,\ and instill them into your business. We wear masks, we welcomefolks, we shake hands, smile and make friends. These are healthy for our businessesand our community.